Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
