I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
