could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
