Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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