A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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