I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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