some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
