my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
