I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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