Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
