Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
