I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
