wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
