Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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