Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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