I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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