My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
How external is "for external use only"?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
