K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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