He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
