I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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