I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
