I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
