I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
