dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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