Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
