I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
