I accidentally had phone sex last night
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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