I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
