"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
