so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
