Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
