yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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