I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
