This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
