and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
