Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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