i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
