was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
