i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
