i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well I just put wine in my tea
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
