she looked like the before picture.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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