Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
