Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
