Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
