I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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