If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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