So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
