1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
