Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
