Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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