let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
