i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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