so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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